Hello and welcome to another random adventure in what the puck.

Today; we are going to take a look at the insightful world of Yahoo Answers.
For those of you not in the know; Yahoo Answers is a place where stupid people can leave a question and expect responses from the community; hopefully pointing them in the right direction.

Now on the hockey section; you would expect common questions and reasonable answers. Ones such as “How can I improve my stats”, “What are the best gloves for $90″ or perhaps “Who won the Stanley cup in 1984″. Yes, to an extent these do exist (although many are badly written, poorly spelt or rushed); however shuffled alongside the logical, normal questions are some real gems. And by gems, I mean stupid why would anyone ask this stuff questions. Then theres the answers. Some, are fine, they help; and then there’s the “others”.
Here’s a few of my favourites.

Jamaal Cintron asks:
“A good bad *** nickname”???
I need a nick name for my hockey line. 3 guys are on my line..including me. the 3 stooges is not a cool or bad *** name so thats out. Fly Boys is taken by the jets WRs. Any good ideas? Thanks

This is a fair question. He wants some simple advice. What answers does he get back?

Oliver Pet answers:
The 3 douchebags

Alex CCowman answers:
goon squad

back door muckers

barebacks

3 musketeers

(source)

Friendly bunch of people, with some great suggestions?
The next question is less of a question; more of a last attempt at desperation by a manic over obsessive fan.

SUSPENDEDAGAIN asks:
Do you know if Sidney Crosby is Single?
I hear he is a very emotional man, just my type.

The answers include;

BrrDee* says:
Hmm.. He may be your type.
But I highly doubt you are his type.. Not too sure if hes into the whole creeper thing! Just sayin`

Kofi Kingston says:
why do people ask this.

Leafs fan29 says:
He is currently not married, however I’m fairly certain he can get a restraining order taken care of pronto. Just saying.
(To this answer, the asker added: YEAH WELL LEAFS SUCK)

Not happy with these answers this obsessive lunatic well balenced, level headed individual asks the SAME question again.

SUSPENDEDAGAIN asks:
Is Sidney Crosby Single?
A real man crys. I want a real man.

Matt N says:
No, he’s currently living with Mario….

Sett says:
These questions are getting really old.

(source 1) (source 2)

The next question makes very little sense. Infact, perhaps it is in the wrong section:

John X asks:
Who’s the king of R&B?
what do you guys say?

Vultureman answers:
Wayne Gretzky.

(source)

Anyone care to send us a copy of some Wayne Gretzky R&B? Our postal address can be found in the about us section.

The next person asks a very normal question;

EMS asks:
Workouts for hockey?
What are some really good exercises and workouts to get in good shape for the upcoming hockey season?

Passionatepoolman answers:
RED WINGS 2009 STANLEY CUP CHAMPS AGAIN!

(source)

A very logical answer. Thanks for the advice.

The next person just wants to save a bit of money, disregarding many of the consequences and problems caused.

MD R asks:
Home made Hockey Gloves?
Im interested in actuall attempting to make a homemade pair of hockey gloves. What do I need to do? What material do I need? How should I make the right size? Has anyone else tryed to make a pair of hockey gloves? (btw, I might even throw a ccm patch on them to make them look real)

This persons going one step beyond and planning on producing bootleg hockey merchandise!. What advice can the folks of yahoo answers offer?

Rockford answers:
Duct tape or you could use your bellybutton lint and knit
yourself a pair.

(source)

Sound advice from Rockford there; I can just hear Reebok calling Sidney Crosby to endorse them. Oh wait, they can’t find him – seems he has gone into hiding from our friend “SUSPENDEDAGAIN” Wait, it seems another manic fan is stealing your thunder…

Emma asks:
Does Sidney Crowby have a girlfriend
Honestly, I don’t even know who this mother f*cker is.
Hope your happy!

No, thats not a typo. This gets one answer; the following:

redbird says:
Who

(source)

Classic stuff.

Moving on, big news. An NHL team is MOVING!!!

Shawn asks:
Hockey team to Athens, GA?
Some of my friends said they herd a rumor about a new hockey team to Athens GA.?? They said there supposed to be called the BEARS. Has anybody else heard this rumor. ANother Nhl team to GA i LIKE IT but is kind of strange if it is true

Brilliant. But I heard that 2 teams are moving to Athens, GA; because its such a huge untapped pro sports team market!
The people who answered had this to say:

William says:
True? Gz

Machinehead says:
I don’t buy it. They already got a team in GA that failed once and now are struggling again. Not even the NHL is stupid enough to try this.

(source)

Classic, “my mate said” stuff there.
The next person is even more optimistic.

Tomking asks:
Should I try out to be the new Washington Capitals goalie?
1). I have never alwoed more than 2 goals in high school through minor league hockey.
2). I never let easy shots from a punk like Ryan Callahan go through. ( I don’t allow softies)
3). I’am never injury proned like Varly and I know I’am better than Nuevirth!
4). I way always team captain and I’am like a coach on the ice
5). Finally, I play my best during the big games

Hey, I am no NHL coach or GM; so lets hope one of the answerers is:

Macs31:
I sincerely hope this is a joke..

ZooTycoon says:
1. Good job, you want a cookie now?
2. Great, you’re better than Toskala.
3. You’ve played against Neuvirth? Wow, lucky duck.
4. You encourage your team, practically edit the lines, and call the timeouts at the right times? Cool.
5. So you play your worst against the Oilers, Hurricanes, Islanders, Panthers, and other struggling teams? INCONSISTENCY!!!
6. This is a joke, right?
7. Try out for the Oilers or the Islanders. Maybe you’d actually stop 10 shots in those cities.

Machinehead blue says (obviously confused here…):
They don’t need a goalie they need a linebacker. Giving up that touchdown to the Rangers was unacceptable.

Erm, this is HOCKEY machinehead blue. Not football. And before you say its in the wrong thread; theres no Rangers in the NFL…

And, I think this answer sums up the question best:

Liam says:
No.

(source)

And thus we reach the end of the questions for this episode. But before we go, if all these awful questions have made you want to throw in the towel and forget about hockey, don’t worry – we have the solution:

OMGSTFUR says:
I invented a new sport would you play it?
I call it FOOT-KEY
its played on ice its like hockey you have skates no sticks because you have a football which has a goal a small hole and an end zone for wait not a touchdown, a SLAP DOWN!
you score 2 points throwing the ball in the hole and 5 points for a slap down.
penalties are throws at the goal/hole from certain distances and worth 3 points.
10 players a team
Heaps of bodychecks and of course you wear special gloves which you could retail and make $ off

You couldn’t make this up if you tried. The implications of this game both technically and physically are outstanding. Still we will leave the guys from Yahoo Answers to decide if its a good idea or not…

FlyersFan223 says:
No

MY LEG says:
No

tdawg says:
And it is gonna be called what when it goes to a pro sport the NFKL? NO I WOULD NOT PLAY IT!

(source)

Sorry OMGSTFUR.

Im KevKev, this is PowerPlayGoal.com and Thanks for reading!