Category Archives: The Definitive Fan

The Definitive Fan #20 – The Complete, Utter Noob

December 19, 2011   wildwing64   No comments

Welcome to the Definitive Fan – The online guide from PowerPlayGoal.com to the types of fans who you’re likely to meet (or not meet) at a game.
Some of these fans have a true passion for the game, and will go right out of their way to get their hockey fix on a regular basis no matter how far away they live from their favourite team. Others are literally just there for something to do.

Fan Type #20 – The Complete, Utter Noob

Be it because they wanted to check out a hockey game to see what the fuss is all about, or they got given free tickets, or because they drove all the way from wherever for little more than the Christmas lights being switched on in the town centre and didn’t want to drive all the way home after being there for only half an hour… well, fact is every one of us as a hockey fan was new to the game at some point. But newbies of this particular category have an annoying habit of bringing their own annoying habits, annoying kids, their just being there, or their cringe worthy idiocy to the rink.

Exhibit A: The old lady with a screeching voicebox, an air horn, and Lord Stanley forbid: a rattle. As in one of those big wooden things you spin around to emulate the sound of clapping which, for the record, were banned from professional football games in the UK. Anyone unfortunate enough to sit near her becomes so infuriated by the extremely repetitive screeching and rattling that they are forced to abandon their favourite seats and seek refuge elsewhere – wait, we did that one already.

Exhibit B: The mother and grandmother of a bunch of kids who only came here because the Christmas Lights switch on in the local town centre was short and a waste of time. Mummy and Granny are seated at the back of the row and spend the whole game chatting away to themselves about whatever, clearly not interested in the game at all. Speaking of Uninterested, don’t even get me started on the kids. Technically we covered the kids already, but these ones bring something new to the table: rather than talking about red and yellow cards, or kicking the backs of your seats (backs of seats, at our local rink? HAH!), these kids instead invade your personal space, have loud conversations that have nothing to do with the game whatsoever, intermittently disappear and reappear because they want to instead run around for no reason, and become obsessed with the idea of seeing fights.

Exhibit C: A group of teen boys, estimated age of 14 years. Every time they come to the rink it begs the question of “why bother?” They again aren’t interested in the game, are obsessed with fights, and look a bit stupid because Justin Bieber has apparently had an effect on their fashion sense. One of them for example has a stupid girly haircut with a streak of red dye while another wears a Minnie Mouse hoody. Yes, we are being dead serious.

Exhibit D: A man in his 40s who again only went to the game because of the Christmas lights switch on in the town centre being a bit crap. He appears to be on his own and is wearing a football (soccer) team shirt to this hockey game, making him look like a complete tool. Notices our resident Anaheim fan in an old jersey. “Hey, it’s the Ducks!” he says, somewhat quietly. There is a small glimmer of hope that he knows his hockey stuff. “The Mighty, Mighty, MIGHTY Ducks!” …Maybe not.

As previously stated, every fan was new to the wonderful game of hockey at some point. It is strongly recommended to introduce new specimens to the game whenever possible, but do not allow them to become ill informed or turn into an annoying fan like the examples mentioned above. Educate them on how the game works, and how not to come across as being stupid at the rink.

I’m Wildwing64, and this has been another Definitive Fan at PowerPlayGoal.com

If you enjoyed this article and want to experience more of our weird brand of humour, feel free to follow us at on Twitter for regular updates: @PowerPlayGoal

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The Definitive Fan #19 – The Rioter

June 19, 2011   kevkev   No comments

Welcome to The Definitive Fan – The online guide from PowerPlayGoal.com to the types of fans who you’re likely to meet (or not meet) at a game; or perhaps feel like hanging out with post game.
Some of these fans clearly have a true passion for the game, others, well, they are just there for something to do.

Fan Type #19 – The Rioter

Bio:
Often quite passionate, these fans blend in the majority of the time and from first glance or first hand game experience you would be shocked to find out that beneath that support is an ulterior motive; one that is craving chaos.
Never working alone, they will always have at least one or two wing men in tow; people they truly trust in both causing as much chaos as them and of course who can look out for their leader should the need be. There is many reports that these guys may also work in gangs; but this is unconfirmed.
Once that final whistle goes, win or loose – what follows will always be the same. RIOT!.
This can be on a small scale, perhaps they will just smash up the toilets; or perhaps they will take it further trashing parts of the arena like the seats, concessions stands and anything nearby. A few will go further on special occasions and trash the city around them. This could include looting shops, flipping cars and hurling Molotov cocktails.
Most of these rioters usually come with long criminal records and have been charged with this type of offense many times before; however others are more stealthy and stick to just bragging about the “crap they get away with” on Facebook and Twitter to other rioters / horrified friends/ relatives.

Characteristics:
Usually male, aged from 20 through to 30; and they generally favor hoodies, dark glasses or face scarves to mask their identity. Perhaps they are so passionate about their team they have a tattoo. Often carry backpacks  concealiing tools to be used later, such as crowbars and brass knuckles.

Favorite Team:
Well, when was the last time you read of a southern teams fans rioting? I’m just saying…

Other:
During the off season they may often migrate to Soccer games for their “fix” of rioting

I think it is also worth adding that whilst the majority of fans are stable enough to deal with wins and losses for their teams, it is a shame that a few fans feel it necessary to act in this way; and regardless of how these few act it is always important to remember that the majority of fans are not like this and just go home / to the bar after games. These good fans are always the first to pick up the pieces after crap like this, and as can be seen in the images below really don’t want to associate with the rioting thugs.

I’m KevKev, and this is PowerPlayGoal.com
If you’ve enjoyed reading the article, why not follow us on twitter? @powerplaygoal

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Definitive Fan #2311221979 – Waluigi

April 01, 2011   wildwing64   No comments

Welcome to the Definitive Fan – The online guide from PowerPlayGoal.com to the types of fans who you’re likely to meet (or not meet) at a game.
Some of these fans clearly have a true passion for the game, others, well, they are just there for something to do.

Fan Type # 2311221979 – Waluigi

WAAAAAAAAAAAAA

(Picture from BITF)

Bio:
A resident of the Mushroom Kingdom, Waluigi’s only purpose in life is to serve as the arch nemesis of a certain green-and-blue clad plumber. Aside from that, he’s just there. He has no reason to exist other than as an extra multiplayer character to fill out the roster. But since he’s played hockey in at least two of his otherwise pointless appearances, we have discovered that Waluigi is, in fact, a hockey fan, perhaps giving him some meaning in an otherwise meaningless life.

Much like many a hockey fan – and for that matter, a player – Waluigi is very competitive by nature, and his cry of “WAAAAAAAA” can be heard all across Canada, the North-eastern United States, and occasionally Los Angeles whenever he happens to be there. However, he is also quite the bad loser. “Waluigi hates this,” he claims, whenever his favourite team happens to be losing, so he just switches to another one instead.

As an arch-nemesis type character, he is very, very antagonistic towards fans of rival teams, and he seems to have particular dislikes for the expansion era Sunbelt teams, insisting that those that have won the Stanley Cup are dirty cheaters – despite being one himself – and he particularly dislikes the Anaheim Ducks and Dallas Stars, probably because they have both worn green at some point or another.

Characteristics:
Lanky, pointy nose and ears, clad in purple and black, and owner of one very thin moustache.

Favourite Team:
Hard to say. He doesn’t seem to have one favourite that he sticks by, but he has a bunch of teams that he conveniently switches to, particularly when his current team is playing like crap and he gets bored of them. One of these teams is the Los Angeles Kings – as he looks like some kind of troll, he fits in with the fanbase there quite well – but he also joins the fans of some of the North-eastern and Canadian teams, where the cries of “WAAAAAAAA” from his fellow fans there are strongest. Along with the Ducks and Stars, he also hates the Vancouver Canucks with a burning, fiery passion, even though that city is where he first played hockey.

Other:
Expecting another interesting tidbit of information?

Too bad. WALUIGI TIME.

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