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War On Logos #22 – Ugly Duckling

December 30, 2011   wildwing64   No comments

I’m fresh out of Mighty Ducks movies to review this Holiday season, so to make up for that I shall be looking at a logo which originated from the film series instead. A bad attempt at making a generic hockey themed duck logo which was thankfully never used by the NHL team named for the film series. The NHL Mighty Ducks instead went with the iconic duck mask logo as their primary crest (as well as a uniform that was completely different from the team in the movie) which was later introduced to the movies to tie the two together, making the film series feel like a glorified commercial for the NHL team. Or the other way round, if you insist.

Anyway, this thing. In the first film, when Team District 5 was named the Ducks for their sponsor, the conveniently named Mr Ducksworth, the kids were shown their new uniform and their initial reactions weren’t very positive. “The Ducks?” one of them asked, “We’re the Ducks?!” Honestly, for a hockey team, Ducks is a pretty good name. If I were these kids I’d be more concerned about the logo they had to wear:

That is one of the weirdest looking cartoon ducks that I have ever seen. It’s oddly very non-Disney-ish despite belonging to a Disney product (little known fact: they outsourced the team logo designs used in the first film). This duck looks terrified, with his big googly eyes and his beak combined together to pull off a facial expression that says “Ooh err!” as he takes his first step onto the ice. Could this have been deliberate, considering the movie Ducks team were a ragtag bunch of kids who initially couldn’t skate or play properly? Perhaps. But this is still very odd for an animal-based identity, couldn’t the duck at least have had a more intimidating facial expression?

At first glance I can’t tell whether he’s wearing a jersey or they’ve just stuck a D-5 onto bright yellow padding. All of those lines remind me of hockey pads. Or was this foreseeing the future of the NHL, for when Reebok Edge was introduced and a lot of teams went with pointless coloured piping for the sake of it? The weirdest thing is the jersey he wears doesn’t even match the uniform that he’s been stuck on. I understand the need for colour contrast against a green jersey, but did they really have to go overboard with all that green and purple piping?

That’s also the weirdest hockey helmet I’ve ever seen. It looks as if he borrowed a turtle shell from the Super Mario games, painted it purple, and stuck it on his head. But what’s with the bit of red? Why is that there? Heck, why is there any red on this logo at all? The team’s colours in the movie are green, yellow, purple and black. No red. So the red on this logo makes no sense whatsoever. Or was this supposed to be a callback to when the team was simply “District 5” and they were crap? This could also explain the general mismatched equipment look and why the jersey piping makes it look like padding.

I certainly wouldn’t want to see a real life hockey team wearing this logo, and like I said I’m glad the NHL Ducks never had to wear this horrible thing. But, to use an overused hockey cliché, it is what it is. A graphic serving as a fictional sports team’s logo. Regardless of how ugly it is, it was adequate for its purpose. And if you like the movie, don’t let the ugliness of this duck take away from your enjoyment of the film.

I’m Wildwing64, and I declare War on Logos.

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The Definitive Fan #20 – The Complete, Utter Noob

December 19, 2011   wildwing64   No comments

Welcome to the Definitive Fan – The online guide from PowerPlayGoal.com to the types of fans who you’re likely to meet (or not meet) at a game.
Some of these fans have a true passion for the game, and will go right out of their way to get their hockey fix on a regular basis no matter how far away they live from their favourite team. Others are literally just there for something to do.

Fan Type #20 – The Complete, Utter Noob

Be it because they wanted to check out a hockey game to see what the fuss is all about, or they got given free tickets, or because they drove all the way from wherever for little more than the Christmas lights being switched on in the town centre and didn’t want to drive all the way home after being there for only half an hour… well, fact is every one of us as a hockey fan was new to the game at some point. But newbies of this particular category have an annoying habit of bringing their own annoying habits, annoying kids, their just being there, or their cringe worthy idiocy to the rink.

Exhibit A: The old lady with a screeching voicebox, an air horn, and Lord Stanley forbid: a rattle. As in one of those big wooden things you spin around to emulate the sound of clapping which, for the record, were banned from professional football games in the UK. Anyone unfortunate enough to sit near her becomes so infuriated by the extremely repetitive screeching and rattling that they are forced to abandon their favourite seats and seek refuge elsewhere – wait, we did that one already.

Exhibit B: The mother and grandmother of a bunch of kids who only came here because the Christmas Lights switch on in the local town centre was short and a waste of time. Mummy and Granny are seated at the back of the row and spend the whole game chatting away to themselves about whatever, clearly not interested in the game at all. Speaking of Uninterested, don’t even get me started on the kids. Technically we covered the kids already, but these ones bring something new to the table: rather than talking about red and yellow cards, or kicking the backs of your seats (backs of seats, at our local rink? HAH!), these kids instead invade your personal space, have loud conversations that have nothing to do with the game whatsoever, intermittently disappear and reappear because they want to instead run around for no reason, and become obsessed with the idea of seeing fights.

Exhibit C: A group of teen boys, estimated age of 14 years. Every time they come to the rink it begs the question of “why bother?” They again aren’t interested in the game, are obsessed with fights, and look a bit stupid because Justin Bieber has apparently had an effect on their fashion sense. One of them for example has a stupid girly haircut with a streak of red dye while another wears a Minnie Mouse hoody. Yes, we are being dead serious.

Exhibit D: A man in his 40s who again only went to the game because of the Christmas lights switch on in the town centre being a bit crap. He appears to be on his own and is wearing a football (soccer) team shirt to this hockey game, making him look like a complete tool. Notices our resident Anaheim fan in an old jersey. “Hey, it’s the Ducks!” he says, somewhat quietly. There is a small glimmer of hope that he knows his hockey stuff. “The Mighty, Mighty, MIGHTY Ducks!” …Maybe not.

As previously stated, every fan was new to the wonderful game of hockey at some point. It is strongly recommended to introduce new specimens to the game whenever possible, but do not allow them to become ill informed or turn into an annoying fan like the examples mentioned above. Educate them on how the game works, and how not to come across as being stupid at the rink.

I’m Wildwing64, and this has been another Definitive Fan at PowerPlayGoal.com

If you enjoyed this article and want to experience more of our weird brand of humour, feel free to follow us at on Twitter for regular updates: @PowerPlayGoal

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War On Logos #21 – THREEEEE DEEEEE

November 25, 2011   wildwing64   No comments

The Philadelphia Flyers have one of the most iconic logos in hockey history. The black winged P with the orange circle – which is apparently also supposed to be a flying puck – has remained untouched since its introduction in 1967. And the Flyers for many years never introduced a secondary logo to compliment their brand (why would they need to?), and even when they did introduce their first ever secondary mark, it wasn’t much more than a simple modification to the iconic winged P.

Back in 2002, and after going without an orange jersey for a year, the Flyers introduced a new alternate jersey with orange as its base colour. It was a pretty nice looking jersey, and was an unusually modern take on a more familiar look for this franchise. But what drew the ire of Flyers fans were the adjustments they made to the team’s crest. “Really?” I sometimes thought, “You hate it even though it’s basically the same thing with very minor changes, and actually looks pretty sharp, also a good way to update this franchise’s identity into the 21st century?” Then again, this is a fanbase that seemingly prefers that their team’s identity is stuck in the 70’s.

But to be honest, I haven’t looked at the modified logo for quite some time now. I thought it was pretty cool at the time, maybe my opinion has changed? Since I’m talking about the logo and I haven’t actually seen it for a while I might as well take a look at it agai-OH DEAR MOTHER OF LORD STANLEY, WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU.

…Okay. Now I see why the Flyers organisation has pretty much regressed back to their roots with their current uniforms, and even went with a faux-retro nameplate that they never even wore in the first place. Someone showed them the future; a horrible, horrible future, that looked something like this. The threeeee-deeeeee generation kicks in and affects everything from films to TV to videogames, and even the Flyers logo. It’s almost as if the Terminator jumped back in time to show the team this uniform and logo set and say “DIS IS WHAT YOUR JEERRSEEY WILL LOOOOK LIKE IN DA FUUTURE. FUUTURE IS BAD. DON’T LET YOOUR JEERRSIIES LOOOOK LIKE DIS.”

But seriously, what made them want to add the vaguely metallic, 3D bevel to their logo? The Flyers crest is a classic mark. Adding a pointless feature such as this actually takes away from what it’s supposed to be. It reminds me of when a certain other team’s graphic design department *coughduckscough* obsesses over Photoshop’s bevel and emboss effect, then you look at some of their web graphics, and you think “Oh, great, they used sodding bevel and emboss. Again.” But I digress.

Getting back to the point, there doesn’t seem to have been any real reason for them to add the bevel to the logo. They could have just slapped on the regular ordinary Flyers logo onto the third jersey and it would have been fine. But no. After all, THREEEEE DEEEEEE. Plus it gave them a lousy excuse to add a silver trim to the third jersey, which again takes away from what the Flyers are supposed to be. And speaking of taking away, the stupid bevel makes the wings look skinny. That’s not something you do to the Flyers. The Flyers are big, bold, bad and tough, and their fans don’t expect anything less from them. Having skinny wings and a puck that has apparently lost weight is not exactly something the fans take too kindly to. And now I know why their fashion sense is stuck in the 70’s.

…But other than all of that, it really was a nice third jersey.

I’m Wildwing64, and I declare War On Logos.

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