Since Christmas time has come around again, I decided to review a hockey film that for some reason has a “Christmassy” feel to it, which is probably because it or one of its sequels always appears at least once on TV during the holidays.
The Mighty Ducks (1992 – Walt Disney Pictures)
Ah yes, good old Disney sports films; Filled with family fun, political correctness AND stereotyping, inaccuracies and common clichés that will “capture your heart forever”. This one I picked up at a car boot sale for 75p, and with it being a hockey film, I may as well review it.
Though unlike most of Disney’s sports films, there is only one reason why they made this film: the company wanted an NHL team. So in 1992, they were granted an expansion franchise to play in Anaheim, California, near Disneyland. So after this, production started on one of many of Disney’s low budget movies of the 90′s, claiming this one in particular to be their ‘market research’… That’s enough on the short history lesson as to why my favourite NHL team was formed, and now onto the movie.
The film is about a lawyer named Gordon Bombay (played by Emilio Estevez), who used to play peewee hockey, has been arrested for drunk driving and is sentenced to community service, that is, coaching a crappy team called ‘District 5′, which is made up of the main guy, as well as the nerd with glasses, a fat kid as the goalie, the token black guy and his brother, as well as a few other generic characters who aren’t even worth mentioning, and finally, for some reason, a girl. The team lacks funds, decent equipment, ability, etc. After a couple of games, and being told that ‘cheating is bad’ by the main guy who storms out on him, Bombay approaches his boss, with the strangely convenient surname Ducksworth, for funds. He then buys the team’s equipment, gets a tough guy to join the team, and presents them with their new uniforms and new team name: the Ducks, a name he had “no choice” but to pick because the team was being sponsored by his boss. After a preachy lesson on why the name was a good choice, the kids happily put on their uniforms and start winning some games.
Just before a star player from the ‘bad guys’ team, the Hawks (whose colour scheme is mainly black… and no, it’s NOT the Blackhawks), is forced to join the Ducks, and then you get that scene where everybody’s upset and doesn’t like the coach, then he’s fired by his former boss, and then he happily reunites with his team, and then the Ducks make the playoffs. In the final game, which happens to be against the Hawks, the former Hawks star player is injured and has to be carried off the ice, the Ducks continue playing well, main Duck gets tripped in the last second, time runs out, game is tied and a penalty shot occurs, with the Ducks winning to the sound of Queen’s classic song “We Are the Champions”.
So basically, it goes by a cookie cutter sports movie plot complete with many things that are untrue to the real sport. There are however, a couple of things that confuse me: for example – not that I’m being sexist or anything – but there are two girls playing for the Ducks in an otherwise all-boys league. And also, how comes hardly any (read: none) of the kids playing for teams that are not the Ducks or Hawks in this film have no names on the backs of their jerseys? Was the budget really that low or were they just too lazy to come up with names? The other thing that really bothers me is how the District 5 team went from being completely useless to being an amazing team in just one or two weeks. That’s impossible. I’ve never played ice hockey before, and although the players make it look easy, I’m pretty sure it takes months, if not years of practise. Surprisingly, there are also a couple of scenes where the kids are using naughty words like “bastard” and “piss”, because, you know, it’s a Disney film! For kids!
Inaccuracies, predictability and clichés aside, there are some nice NHL references in this film, including the fat goalie kid being a Philadelphia Flyers fan, and with the film being set in Minnesota, the North Stars are mentioned throughout (remember that this was 1992, a year before they moved to Dallas), with players such as Mike Modano and… some other guy making cameo appearances, and we even get to see some action from a Minnesota North Stars VS (IIRC) Hartford Whalers game before the Ducks play their ultimate game against the Hawks.
Let’s face it though, you’re not going to go out and buy this just for the NHL references. While I consider it to be the best of the Mighty Ducks Trilogy, that really isn’t saying much because it just has “Disney sports movie” written all over it, with its endless clichés and such. However, if you’re after a hockey film that’s fun for the kids to watch, or if you insist on adding this to your growing collection of hockey movies… well, it’s your call.
Rating: 4/10 “Predictable”